Gentle yet Tough

i've learnt that

i am not capable of being gentle in appearance or action wise..
and more inapt as i m, in being emotionally tough..

my working environment is such that i am constantly in need of handling things, be them equipments or apparatus, with such great care because each of them can cost such hefty amount that it will burn indeed a great hole in my pocket for every broken piece and damages done!

yet

even after spending so much time in lab,

breathing in so much chemicals,

handling so much skin,ears,eyes damaging stuffs

gentleness does not become of me nor have i learn to deal these things with care and cautions..

so i rather not keep a record of the long list of things which are not going to be their perfect original forms!

as for the other un-working aspect of mine, i have to deal with "bombs", unhappiness, loneliness and every other imperfections of life.

i m not strong. in other words, it would simply mean that i am a PARASITE! a very dependent person..one who can't stand on one's own feet.

neither am i able to control my emotions and my thoughts.

and at times, i m "attacked" by some "abnormal" crazy thoughts which can inhibit in the mind for months..

this "extraordinary" characters of mine or rather property of my MIND, is the very testimony to the recent events that took place!

Anyway, all I want to say is that

"gentle (in appearance or actions wise) yet ..(emotionally) tough.."

is what i aim to achieve..

so, ya..cheers to "dilobear's life time aim"