Thursday, June 7, 2007

Endings and Beginnings

Endings will follow beginnings and so will the sunset with sunrise.

These are perpetual and constant. We cannot see this circle because we are always part of it... Have you ever come to a place in your life where you are confused with what you see around you? Do you interpret that place as a new beginning or do you feel that it is an ending of a portion of your life? How do you know the difference between the two? Are you at a beginning or an end, a block or interruption, a desired break or an untimely dead-end?
That place of confusion is the moment when you let go of the ‘old way’ or is the feeling of sadness when you say goodbye. It is a time when you feel the most alone and when you need the help of others to carry you over the threshold of a new direction in life. You feel fragile and understand the remarkable emotions of being alive.
I’m at a place in my life where these moments of confusion seem to converge into a laser like beam of awareness. Endings and beginnings seem to meld together and each becomes blurred into the other. Instead of seeing the sadness of an ending or the joy and elation of a new beginning I see a continuum of events where each is responsible for the next and all build upon the other. I find confusion is replaced by clarity and sadness is replaced with determination.
By focusing on the wholeness of who we are we begin a new direction in our life. We step forth into the light and become a beacon for others to follow. Our life becomes full of wonder for it is the act of becoming whole that allows us to see with new eyes and to understand our pathway in life.

It is not the beginning nor is it the end that encapsulates our essence but it is the path that lies between. It is that path that forms the story of who we are. We are the sum of all our actions, deeds, and contributions all of which can be filtered like a rainbow or can be seen as the brilliant light of your soul.
"I wanted a perfect ending...

Now, I've learned the hard way that some poems don't rhyme,

and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.

Life is about not knowing,
having to change,
taking the moment and making the best of it,
without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious ambiguity."

Gilda Radner, 1946-1989
American Comedienne

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

dilobear's lesson 1

I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life..

and I am still aching from that decision of mine...
wonder when I will get to heal...
sigh :(

A Baby step

I have always wanted to put my thoughts down, somewhere somehow so that at sometime I could browse back and think back of these memories I have collected.
Yet all these years, I could not, infact I did not take the time nor the effort to fulfill this long-waited-desire of mine. Even when "blogs"are bornt and "blogging"becomes such an ïn""activity, I still could not get myself to do it. I have been taking such own sweet times that I have missed out most of "golden" days in my life.. Perhaps this is the result of my indecisions..which is one of the badies points among the others defects of mine :P
Actually, frankly speaking, right now, at this moment or what the burmese would call "pyit sote pan"perhaps is not the right time to start this "scrap book"of mine. The reason being I am not in the RIGHT mindset to do so.
But whatever it is, once started I have to follow through it, isn't it?
so here it is..

A beginning step..small but nevertheless a starting..beginning...
Hope whoever is reading this could stick with me throughout my "growing up"journey :)